4:42am: Jen awakens to the pleasant sounds of a grinding garbage disposal and Wrigley whining to go outside.
4:43am: Jen thinks to herself:
"Why am I hearing the garbage disposal at the butt-crack of dawn - surely this is just a bad dream?"
4:45am: *sounds of footsteps coming up the stairs* Jen is officially AWAKE - much to her dismay!
4:46am: Greg is serenading Jen with...are you ready for this?
"Do You Know the Muffin Man"
[this is WRONG...on SO many levels!]
4:46am: Jen puts pillow over her head and tries to pretend that this is NOT happening. NOT Muffin Man...before 5am - SERIOUSLY!?
4:47am: Greg is lecturing Jen...and it went something like this:
"You know...somebody's turkey is going to be RAW & nasty...if they don't get their butt outta bed...blah, blah, blah..."
4:48am: Jen concedes & commences the roasting ceremony.
4:46am: Greg is serenading Jen with...are you ready for this?
"Do You Know the Muffin Man"
[this is WRONG...on SO many levels!]
4:46am: Jen puts pillow over her head and tries to pretend that this is NOT happening. NOT Muffin Man...before 5am - SERIOUSLY!?
4:47am: Greg is lecturing Jen...and it went something like this:
"You know...somebody's turkey is going to be RAW & nasty...if they don't get their butt outta bed...blah, blah, blah..."
4:48am: Jen concedes & commences the roasting ceremony.
"HAPPY THANKSGIVING, TO ME?"
{Important note: The kiddos stayed the night at a fancy hotel, about 55 minutes away, with Poppa & Nanny.)
HUGE Bonus! Thank you, Poppa & Nanny!
OK now - where the heck was I? Oh, yes...turkey prep...
Not having ANY experience with roasting a 20 pound bird, I was a bit unclear on the exact (or even ballpark figure) amount of time that it would take for my turkey to reach the proper temperature & be declared "done". During my research, I did learn that a brined turkey cooks at a faster speed than one that is not brined.
*Oh, and by the way - I did decide to BRINE my turkey!*
{Important note: The kiddos stayed the night at a fancy hotel, about 55 minutes away, with Poppa & Nanny.)
HUGE Bonus! Thank you, Poppa & Nanny!
OK now - where the heck was I? Oh, yes...turkey prep...
Not having ANY experience with roasting a 20 pound bird, I was a bit unclear on the exact (or even ballpark figure) amount of time that it would take for my turkey to reach the proper temperature & be declared "done". During my research, I did learn that a brined turkey cooks at a faster speed than one that is not brined.
*Oh, and by the way - I did decide to BRINE my turkey!*
Before we begin cooking, I would like to introduce you to
Big T & Lil' T - say hello!
Big T & Lil' T - say hello!
4:57am: Jen brushes teeth (and curses the Muffin Man)
5:02am: *Jen waiting ever-so-patiently for Greg to remove himself (and all of his turkey aftermath) from the kitchen*
5:12am: Jen dons herself with a bottle of Lysol Anti-bacterial Kitchen Cleaner and hot-pink designer infrared salmonella detecting goggles (which make her look super hot)...and then uses over half of the bottle, saturating every spot that Greg may have even considered coming into contact with. 2 semesters of Infection Control & Advanced Infection Control in college, well...it just does that to a person.
5:15am: Jen removes Tom from the 2 gallons of brine liquid, washes him, and pats him dry with love. Uses other half of the Lysol bottle.
5:21am: Jen consumes a large amount of Diet Coke (which is her coffee in the mornings).
5:25am: Greg's hen is on the grill - the smoking (or should I say "smirking"?) begins.
6:11am: Jen's ginormous, brined for 24 hours, buttery, & incorrectly trussed turkey goes into the oven...thermometer in place...herbs & secret ingredients in place...tightly wrapped in a double layer of heavy-duty foil...life is good!
*oops...I just realized that I forgot to tuck in the wings - CRAP!*
5:02am: *Jen waiting ever-so-patiently for Greg to remove himself (and all of his turkey aftermath) from the kitchen*
5:12am: Jen dons herself with a bottle of Lysol Anti-bacterial Kitchen Cleaner and hot-pink designer infrared salmonella detecting goggles (which make her look super hot)...and then uses over half of the bottle, saturating every spot that Greg may have even considered coming into contact with. 2 semesters of Infection Control & Advanced Infection Control in college, well...it just does that to a person.
5:15am: Jen removes Tom from the 2 gallons of brine liquid, washes him, and pats him dry with love. Uses other half of the Lysol bottle.
5:21am: Jen consumes a large amount of Diet Coke (which is her coffee in the mornings).
5:25am: Greg's hen is on the grill - the smoking (or should I say "smirking"?) begins.
6:11am: Jen's ginormous, brined for 24 hours, buttery, & incorrectly trussed turkey goes into the oven...thermometer in place...herbs & secret ingredients in place...tightly wrapped in a double layer of heavy-duty foil...life is good!
*oops...I just realized that I forgot to tuck in the wings - CRAP!*
To be continued...
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